Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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