Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
