Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
