your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
