East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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