My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize