my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
