i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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