He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
