pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I faked an abortion last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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