Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
