I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
