the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize