The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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