Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
