i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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