I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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