I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i've created a new STD.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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