Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
