You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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