is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
