It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
