How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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