My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
