She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
