Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
