He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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