I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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