TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
