I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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