is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
