Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
