oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
