Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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