If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I understand Curling. That high.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
