Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
