last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
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Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
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I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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