I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
