Do you still have your period?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
