We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
