It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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