bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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