Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
