I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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