Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
