watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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