They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
