so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
