ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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