Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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