youre lurking in front of me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
