yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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