New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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