Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
