She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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