if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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