idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
