Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
