YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
