it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
