Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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