The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
