tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
