Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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