How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize