some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
