He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
