your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
