You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize