white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
