Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
