I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
