you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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