ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
