You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
